a more appropriate response would have been...

I need a day off so I can go to the dr. and get on anti-depressants.  Because I am so depressed it isn't even funny.  Instead of I want to give my two weeks notice.

I cannot ever take time off for myself because Maggie requires all my sick leave.  She gets sick like every frigging week.  Which is depressing, that doesn't really help with the overall depression I have been dealing with.

I am trying to decide if I should say something tomorrow and try to get my job back.  It isn't like I said anything bad about my job or the people I work with.  Just that I wanted to give my notice and that I had the opportunity to work part time which would be more beneficial for Maggie's and all her illnesses.

Being a single mom is way more overwhelming than I ever thought it would be.  I am sure part of that is being fired, unemployed, going to work part time returning to work at 1 week after my c-section, blah, blah, blah.

So I quit my job today...

Yep, I did it.  I quit my job.  I don't think my boss was surprised maybe she was even a little relieved.

I am going to work for two weeks then start working for the CPA firm I worked for in college.  Maggie will stop going to daycare. I am excited and scared all at the same time.

I am going to make almost the same amount of money when we take into consideration that I am no longer paying out $981 for day care and $200 for parking.

But it is still scary.  But it will be okay.

and, yet another year that I hate the holidays

I think that it is time to find friends to spend the holidays with because my family is not cutting it.  Every year I tell my mom - you need to get the tradtitions you want carried on started now.

When were little - we went to our Grandma's house on Christmas eve, all the aunts and uncles would buy for the kids and the grown-ups would draw names.  We had a big potluck and it was so much fun spending the evening with cousins.

2003 both my Grandpa's died and all family traditions ceased. 

Here is what Maggie's First Christmas Consisted of:

Christmas Eve  we went and got take out Pizza at Round Table - because Maggie couldn't go to any family functions due to her vomiting and diarrhea.  Came home, ate dinner went to bed.

Christmas Day - woke up at 7:45am, got dressed woke up Grandma and Grandpa to open presents.  We were done around 9:00am.  Called the dr and went in to get checked out (due to her being sick for almost a week.)  Came home had coffee cake, Grandma and Grandpa went and took naps.  Around 2pm we woke them up because we could and the day was sucking big time.  I fell asleep around 3pm.  Woke up around 5pm.  Had cream of wheat for dinner.  What a disappointment.

There was really no excitement, nothing special except for Maggie.

So - time to find friends and make plans with them at Christmas time - I believe it takes a village to raise a child just hoping that our village will help me out. :( 

Exhausted

I am exhausted - all I can do is take care of Maggie and veg and that is exhausting to me.

Maggie has been sick, then I caught it.  I was over in within 24 hours hers is going on for days.  I think it has to be really bad when your almost 9 month old baby has been vomiting and having diarrhea for a week.  But apparently not so much.  The dr is not so worried.  Granted this is the dr who misdiagnosed Maggie when she had sepsis from a UTI. So I guess I know better than him.  Hmmm...

I need like five hours of nap.  Uninterrupted, but I don't see that happening until they knock me out next Wednesday for my carpel tunnel surgery.

I guess that since Maggie is asleep I should go join her.  Time for bed.

Maggie is sick...

So on Monday I took Maggie to the dr. she was just acting kind of off. Turns out
she had an ear infection. The dr. made a side comment "Has she started
vomiting, yet?" I said no. Fast forward about 2 hours she starts vomiting.
Diarrhea not to long after that. We went back to the dr yesterday because this
had been going on since Monday. I had called on Tuesday when she was vomiting
after every drink. They put her on Zofran (anti-nausea) at that point. So she
took her Zofran, if she isn't on Zofran at this point she is throwing up. She
hasn't had a fever and I am vigilant about checking.

Our pediatrician (yesterdays visit) told us to call today with a poop and vomit
count. I called at 12:30, their office had just closed for the day (wish I had
known they were closing early, blame it on sleep deprivation.) I had to wait
for the dr on call, (a dr. who misdiagnosed Maggie the day before she ended up
in the hospital.) He called almost 2 hours after I had called (I called back
and put in another notice for him to call.) He finally calls back and after
hearing the background on what is going on said lets wait until tomorrow, call
tomorrow before 9am and tell them what has happened.

Tonight she starts vomiting (to much time between Zofran I guess thats another
story). So I call and say she is still vomiting (I know I didn't wait but she
threw up 5 times in the last two hours), it has been over an hour and I haven't
heard from the dr.

I am so frustrated. Maggie is sick, she has lost wait and if she keeps the
liquid down (liquid diet) it comes flying out the other in.

Advice? I don't know what to do. I feel like a neurotic parent, maybe this
seems worse to me than it really is.

So this is an FYI for parents at last weeks gathering (sorry), and a plea for
advice.

Gray Hair!!!! On a redhead

yes, it was discovered in the bathroom mirror yesterday at work.  My beautiful red hair is turning gray - I guess we can chalk that up to having a baby.

So I am 30, a single mom, and have gray hair.  Guess I am surely going to die single.  Not that it matters that much I don't plan on getting married but I would love to be in a relationship with someone who loved me.   I miss cuddling...