This month has been super funky!!

So I had my accident on the 13th my car is still in the shop it will probably be there another week or two weeks, ugh!  I had a rental car up until this past Thursday, it was just getting to expensive and my insurance only paid a portion of it.  So now my parents are letting me borrow their car - for which I am very grateful.

Even though i said I was glad that the event last month that I hoped would have happened didn't.  I tried again this month right after the car accident, everything is messed up so I won't know for a few more days what the outcome was.

I hate my Linguistics class - I failed my first quiz in the class, so I have hired a tutor and hope that helps.  I cannot take this class again.  I cannot afford anymore time away from Maggie nor the distraction it makes in my life.  It really isn't a good distraction.

In January I will start my practicum experience where I will be in a school working side-by-side an ESOL specialist.  That will be good and probably where I learn the most about being an ESOL specialist.

If Maggie is every so lucky as to have a sibling I hope she has a sister!!!

I like my brothers, if they weren't my brother I wouldn't know they existed.  We are so incredibly different.  I am frustrated by my relationship - or lack there of with both of them and their families.  They always blame me and say that I am the reason we aren't close - but I haven't changed, I am still the person I have always been.  I am still opinionated and smart, have high expectations and straight forward.

Recently, I learned that my brothers and their families get together 1-2 times a week for dinner.  Really?  And no one ever thought of including me?  Or our parents?  Heck, not every time but once in a while it would be nice to be include in something they are doing.

I hardly know my nieces - and one of them is only 12 days older than Maggie, the other one was just born.  But I had to wait 13 days before meeting her because my brother was afraid Maggie would get the baby sick.  Duh, my kid goes to daycare - if she isn't sick, she is getting sick, she is probably a carrier for every known illness out there at this point.

It is incredibly lonely not having anyone to do anything with.  I invite people to go do stuff but they have other plans.  So it is Maggie and me.  What does that show her?  Nothing, it really shows her that her mother had the incredible power to alienate everyone in their lives.  Man, I suck!  I don't know how I manage to do it.

I love my parents, and I know that I chose for Maggie and I to come back here - but I really wish that there was another option.  It would be nice for me to feel secure where we are and to give Maggie her own room, even if that room is only for playing in.

Last night, was Maggie's first night with no bottle/sippy cup all night.  I cut her off.  Her last bottle broke yesterday at nap time and I figured that was it.  She was up the same amount last night as she is up when she has a bottle.  I figure that by the end of the week she will stop asking for a bottle/sippy cup at night. I hope so!

My neck is killing me, stupid lady turned left in front of me on the 13th and I have been paying for it since with bad neck pain, shoulder pain and leg pain.  She doesn't have insurance so my Uninsured Motorist Insurance is covering everything, thank god!  This sucks.

I am an Aunt, again! And other crap

So last weekend my borthers girlfriend gave birth to my neice K.  Which would have been exciting if I had gotten to see her.  I couldn't see her last weekend because Maggie couldn't go to the hospital.  THis week we were going to go see the baby but Maggie's daycare thought she had Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease - which she may have had but is no longer showing symptoms of.  So we tried to go see them this weekend but can't because my brother and his girlfriend are all worried that Maggie is a carrier.  I explained to them that Maggie is a carrier of everything because she goes to daycare.  Pretty much September - June Maggie is sick, getting sick or a carrier for some illness.  So I told them we would come see the baby when we found a 2 week period where Maggie hadn't gone to daycare and was not "possibly" carrying any illness.

I am apparently a horrible mother because Maggie left the house as soon as I could drive, she had been around everyone and I never denied a person the ability to see her when she was born.  Shit, I had 4 kids come visit Maggie when she was in the hospital.  Can you tell I am annoyed.  At this rate the first baby Maggie will get to hold is going to be her sibling.

On Thursday, some idiot hit me and my car.  She turned left in front of me as she was trying to go to Starbucks.  Turns out she doesn't have car insurance either, so everything is on my insurance.  Ugh!!!  I was hurt in the accident, I have whip lash and a killer migraine from the whiplash.  My car is getting fixed but I have to pay my $250 deductible and I have to pay 20% of my rental car.  At the scene she took responsibility for the accident.  But is now recanting her statement.  To bad that she kept calling my cell and school with such urgency to get me so she could "write me a check."  Not going to happen.

Life is good!!

It didn't work - and I am actually relieved.

Work is going well.  It is exhausting but good.  Still trying to figure it all out.

I am still sick, Maggie is better.  Everything settled in my lungs, which sucks my asthma has totally kicked up and I am exhausted.