If Maggie is every so lucky as to have a sibling I hope she has a sister!!!

I like my brothers, if they weren't my brother I wouldn't know they existed.  We are so incredibly different.  I am frustrated by my relationship - or lack there of with both of them and their families.  They always blame me and say that I am the reason we aren't close - but I haven't changed, I am still the person I have always been.  I am still opinionated and smart, have high expectations and straight forward.

Recently, I learned that my brothers and their families get together 1-2 times a week for dinner.  Really?  And no one ever thought of including me?  Or our parents?  Heck, not every time but once in a while it would be nice to be include in something they are doing.

I hardly know my nieces - and one of them is only 12 days older than Maggie, the other one was just born.  But I had to wait 13 days before meeting her because my brother was afraid Maggie would get the baby sick.  Duh, my kid goes to daycare - if she isn't sick, she is getting sick, she is probably a carrier for every known illness out there at this point.

It is incredibly lonely not having anyone to do anything with.  I invite people to go do stuff but they have other plans.  So it is Maggie and me.  What does that show her?  Nothing, it really shows her that her mother had the incredible power to alienate everyone in their lives.  Man, I suck!  I don't know how I manage to do it.

I love my parents, and I know that I chose for Maggie and I to come back here - but I really wish that there was another option.  It would be nice for me to feel secure where we are and to give Maggie her own room, even if that room is only for playing in.

Last night, was Maggie's first night with no bottle/sippy cup all night.  I cut her off.  Her last bottle broke yesterday at nap time and I figured that was it.  She was up the same amount last night as she is up when she has a bottle.  I figure that by the end of the week she will stop asking for a bottle/sippy cup at night. I hope so!

My neck is killing me, stupid lady turned left in front of me on the 13th and I have been paying for it since with bad neck pain, shoulder pain and leg pain.  She doesn't have insurance so my Uninsured Motorist Insurance is covering everything, thank god!  This sucks.