8:10pm, time for bed.

This has been the most exhausting week ever!!  I came home from work yesterday and was unable to move, my joints were so stiff.  I feel incredibly old.  Talking to the other teachers - all in their late 50's, they are telling me this is the most exhausting emotionally, psychologically, mentally and physically of the 7-12 years that they have been teaching here.  Ugh!  I miss my big kids.

On top of just being stiff, I think I sprained my ankle a few weeks ago.  My ankle has been killing me unless it is propped up, it is swelling and just generally not enjoying be used to stand - which 99% of my job is standing.

I am in the process of collecting letters of recommendation from teacher and principals I have worked with in the past to submit to some Idaho school districts, this lady needs a different kind of teaching job.

Full Moon

     The past 3-4 days have been crazy, and today i figured it out as the craziness exploded all over myself and 3 co-teachers - Full Moon!!  I didn't know it was a full moon until I checked about 30 minutes ago but I called it full moon crazy earlier today.  Science tells us that we aren't affected by the full moon, but I swear children are.  It is scary!!  We had biting, hitting kicking, peeing, dumping water, and general misbehavior today.

    Hopefullu, tomorrow the craziness will die down and we will all be able to get back to our normal peaceful selves for a few day - if we make it through the next  weeks I will be happy because than it is our Spring Break!  Yay!  The spring break that lines up with no other school district in the state - yay!

     My plans for Spring Break include lots of dr. appointments we never have time for, 60,000 mile check-up for the car, inner-tubing on mt. Hood, tagging all of Maggie's old clothes for sale in the consignment sales that are coming up, and spending time with my family and friends - I am not sure I will be able to fit all of that in :(

     The other day i was explaining how not everyone is cut out to teach preschool to my co-teacher while referencing a student teacher we have.  It's kind of funny because as I was saying that I kind of slowed down and processed it through myself, I am not sure there is long term potential for me in early childhood education primarily Preschool.  I miss elementary grades so much.  With my endorsement I am now licensed to teach Pre-K - 12th grade in Idaho for ESOL, which I wouldn't mind as long as I could skip middle school :)


     Teacher hiring season is starting, and I am applying for other teaching jobs.  We will have to wait and see what the future holds.  No matter what I hope to stay where I am through summer.

Sanity is over rated

I spend 24/7 with preschoolers, this weekend it has pushed me over the edge. I need a break, a real break maybe an entire day or weekend. None of the preschoolers in my life are listening to me. I have been okay with that until this weekend, now I really need these children to follow directions.

I even miss teaching middle schoolers right now. Kind of funny.

posted from Bloggeroid

Ugh!

I am so tired, living with this horrible cold which is kicking up my asthma. Maggie is in the same boat.  Neither of us feel good, both of us are tired but only one if us is willing to take a nap.  I am feeling horrible, emotionally because I am so tired.  I hate being sick.

The pain...

     For months it seems I have pain in my lower right leg, just above my ankle. Tonight, I cannot take the pain.  It hurts so bad.  I don't remember doing anything to it, nothing stands out in my memory.  Is really hurts. :(

To have a Birthday party, or not?

Trying to figure out the birthday party thing for a 3 year old.  What do I do?  A Rec center near us does 1 hour of gymnastics studio time with instruction and 1 hour in a room for the party for $145 - includes 10 participants (kids).  I think she would love it - but, not sure we have 10 kids friends to invite.

I feel like we have way more grown-ups who would come, so do we just clean up the house and have a party here?

I love my job!

It's been a while since I loved a job, but I do. No matter how hard of a day it is my coworkers are awesome. Today I need help so I could take Maggie to the Dr.my coworkers whose children are all as old as me. But they made it work I am so grateful.

posted from Bloggeroid

Ears...ouchy - whaaa

That is what keeps happening tonight, it started at shower time, she turned her head inadvertently and a stream of water went into her left ear.  Poor baby, she is a pretty tough cookie except when she is in pain.

No fever - that is good, that means that if she feels up to it in 6 hours I can take her to daycare.  If she develops a fever or feels horrible hopefully she will get to stay home with Nana.  I am trying to avoid using the sick days, I always have the goal to save them up for when one of us is really sick. Whatever - "really sick" means or looks like.  Granted that I have taken off a few days already this year 2 - for her surgery (one paid, one not paid), one in December when I was suffering from the 8 week cold/sinus infection, and one in January when she had the UTI.  Compared to the time from end of August 2010 - April 2011 where I missed 40 days of work because her being sick we are on a positive roll!!

Really, her ears have been bugging her for the past 4 days.  She and I have this horrible cold and it started with a sore throat - moved to her ears and has been pretty miserable.  If I could have it my way, we would both stay home, lay in bed, cuddle and rest.  But with a toddler that just isn't how it goes. She would be up and bouncing around not resting.  At that rate she may as well go to school and play with her friends.

She did rest for a few hours tonight and in those few hours I was able to submit my application for a teaching job in Boise, Id.  Fingers crossed - :)  One thing I love about Idaho, is that the schools start looking for teachers for the following year in January!!  Around here, you are lucky if they start looking before school starts for the year.

Okay, enough of this very tired moms ramblings. I am so tired, I hope I can sleep now.

Life

     I think my goal might be just to check facebook once a day and not respond to anything, anyone posts as well as not to post anything.  Hmmmm....

     

I never imagined it would be like this...

      I never imagined it would be like this... lonely, full of hope, sad, happy, depressing, exhilarating, frustrating, elation. Parenting, living, working, being. I struggle with what to do next, I frequently put my life on hold for something or someone that doesn't/don't deserve my time or energy. That person will never love me the way I need to be loved, don't hold on. There are other Pediatric Urologists out there. I am working on living my life for myself and Maggie. It may sound selfish putting myself before Maggie there - but the reason is good - if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I think I have stayed here frozen in time for to long - I am beginning to feel like the 12 year old I am frequently treated like. Like, I never grew-up.

     A child's personality is set by the age of 3, right now my almost 3 year old is exhibiting a lot of anger issues - I wonder where I went wrong, what parenting choice did I make that didn't work for her, did I choose the right daycare - not always, if I don't like her teacher should I move her - then it turns into a moment where I realize - I am "that" parents.  Granted her issues are no where near the issues of many children I have worked with in the past but, I don't want her to have issues (for herself).

     The thought of moving away from my family and friends scares me and exhilarates me at the same time.  Where we live and I work right now is not conducive to us moving out on our own, the best option the most viable option is for us to move to a state where there are better job opportunities and a stronger economy.  I just have to have the confidence and support to do that. 

      I need people (friends, family) to support me, to say that I can do this.  These are the same people who freak out every time I  try to leave, which in turn freaks me out. If you are one of those people, don't do this, this time!!

Miss Maggie is growing and changing, and while we are working through these issues - she is still the same magnificent, wonderful, creative child that she has always been.

Playing in the park after church on Feb. 17 2013.  I think the girls in our family have a thing with their tongues.

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Working on her activity in Religious Education at the Unitarian Universalism church.  She was learning about the moon.

Feb 17 2013 - we discovered that she is big enough to climb ladders all by herself.

Testing....

Let's see...

posted from Bloggeroid

I just needed one more hit, that's all I promise...

I am addicted to Facebook, I admit it. As of February 17, 2013 at 9:30pm, I am taking a break until the after Easter. My life was feeling to dependent on Facebook, that was how I was living my life and it was so fake. I loved being able to be involved in my friends lives - but then I began to wonder how many of these people are really my friend. And some friends were annoying me on there. So I am taking a break. But, I just needed one more hit, a sample, a taste of it. It was for a good reason, but that is just an excuse. My mom received a call from my bothers girlfriend to let us know that their daughter's blood work came back that her adrenal glands were over producing. I know she would contact me via Facebook, so i had to check in. It is always scary to have your child sick, or diagnosed with an illness, or to find out that there is something wrong but not have a clear answer. Maggie - has been sick a majority of her life, the past 5 months have been the healthiest she ha ever been and she has in that period of time dealt with - a horrible UTI, stomach flu, and a cold. Compared to where were 2 years ago - she was spiking 105+ temperatures every weekend with no clear illness, and even a year ago with chronic strep throat and ear infections. I know that Maggie is on the mend. I hope that my niece's problems are diagnosed and treated quickly and painlessly. So, what am I going to do with all the time I am not facebooking? Good question, considering I checked my Facebook every time I left the classroom (without kids), on my lunch break, in the evening, in the middle of the night, first thing in the morning. Well, I am blogging - it has been a while. So I know I need to get my thoughts out, blogging will probably be a good outlet for that. But, I am hoping that instead of facebooking during lunch I will be able to go on long walks on the college campus. I can't say that I am giving this up for Lent, I no longer celebrate Lent. But, I do know that last year at this time I went through the same feelings that I needed a break from Facebook. At that time I didn't take a break, I was so entangled with Facebook. But, this year I am putting myself and Maggie before some internet activity. I have never dealt with addiction myself. I have been around when family member dealt with it and I can imagine that this is what it feels like to some extent. I have a migraine, I feel stressed, I feel like I am squelching some part of me. I know this is for the best and hopefully I will start to feel better as time goes on.