That question can refer to a lot of thing; choosing love of another over money or vice verse, choosing a career that bring you income over a career that brings you less income but love.
I love teaching! I am a great teacher and I firmly believe that I make a difference in the life of every child I teach. I want to teach so badly - even if that means joining the ranks of teachers aides (who I know make as big of a difference because they can be awesome) to get my foot in the door at a school.
Money - I don't make as much money as I was making when I got pregnant in July 2009. I based my ability to financially afford parenting on that income. I knew I could afford to do it then. After I lost my job the financial stability was gone. I am working now and it is full time but essentially 1 full pay check each month and part of the next paycheck go to pay for Maggie's daycare. I love her daycare so I am okay with that. I live with my parents so we don't have a ton of expenses but I would really, really love to move out soon. The funds just aren't there to do that.
If I was to take a job as a classroom aide at a private school (because that would be my best chance of getting hired) I would make about half of what I make now - but in my experience if would help me fill self-fulfilled. (Yes, parenting is fulfilling, but I spend 1 hour a day with Maggie - so at this point i am not really parenting.) As an aide I would get filled up by working with students, which would give me more energy for Maggie and more time for Maggie. I would be done with work and back to her by 3:45 each day, where as right nor I am back to her by 5:45 each day. It would also give me time to work on my studies and just make me a happier person.
Ugh!!! It is so hard to balance what is right for me verses what is right for Maggie and me. If it is good for Mama is it good for baby?
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