I am being published!!!

I submitted my story on how I came to be a SMBC (Single Mom By Choice) to Fit Pregnancy Magazine.  Our story should be in their January/December edition.  Yay!!

Here is the article - I am sure there will be some editing that happens.

YOUR NAME: Anne Geck
THE BABY'S NAME AND BIRTHDATE: Margaret Anne,  March 31, 2010
WHERE DO YOU LIVE (city, state): Portland, OR

Why did you decide to have a baby on your own?
Mr. right wasn't coming along.  I had a good job as a teacher and felt that I was ready.  I had been telling my parents since I was 15 that if I wasn't married by 25 I would use a sperm donor.  At 25 I was in grad school, so I pushed it out to 29.  For my 29th birthday I purchased myself a membership o eHarmony and gave myself 3 months.  At the end of those 3 months I registered with a sperm bank and places my first order.
How did you get pregnant? I got pregnant by Artificial Insemination at home with an anonymous donor from a sperm bank.

Was the process challenging? Easy? Did you try only once? Or multiple times?
 I tried 3 times, the third time I changed donors to one who had successful pregnancies in the past.  He was the one who did it for me.

What was your pregnancy like, physically?
When I was pregnant that was the best I have felt physically - ever.  My chronic low back pain went away, my asthma didn't act up.  It was great!!

Did you have morning sickness? Did you feel tired? Did you gain a lot/a little weight?, Etc.
 I had some morning sickness - I ate a lot of candied ginger.  I didn't gain a lot of weight, I only gained 20 pounds I was very careful about eating as healthy as I could.  My goal was a happy healthy baby.

What was your pregnancy like, emotionally?
Emotionally I was a nightmare - when I was about 6 weeks pregnant the private Catholic school I worked for fired me for being single and pregnant.  Almost two years later I still have not recovered from that.  I loved my job and knew that working there would be a great place for me to be pregnant and raise my daughter.

Did you have a good support group? Were your friends and family supportive of your decision to have a baby on your own? Why or why not? Did you ever question your decision to have a baby on your own once you were pregnant? Why or why not? What was your birth experience?  
My parents were incredibly supportive - I was so lucky.  A small group of my friends were also supportive.  I lost a large number of friends - pregnancy changes relationships and being pregnant from AI is hard for some people to handle.

When I started talking about having a baby (March 2009) my friends were supportive and encouraging, they checked in with me to see how I was doing.  But once I was pregnant things changed and many were no longer supportive.

I did question my decision to have a baby on my own - there were times where I thought what the heck am I doing?  But then I would feel the baby move and I would remember that this is what I wanted more than anything.  I think that I had these thoughts and feelings because of the drama that went on when I lost my job.  Losing your job while pregnant and being single is devastating.

I had a scheduled c-section.  The doctor said that my pelvic opening was to small.  My daughter never dropped at 40 weeks 1 day she was still in my ribs head down.  I never dilated there was no progress.  40 weeks 1 day I had my c-section.  It was great.  It was an easy recovery and I returned to work (I had found a temporary job) 1 week after having my c-section.

Did you have a OB/GYN or midwife? Did you give birth in the hospital? Did you have a vaginal birth? A C-section? How long was your labor? Did anything unexpected happen?

I had an OB/GYN - who was awesome!  He was incredibly supportive of what I was going through and understood when I had panic attacks.  I hope to use him again when I have another baby in a few years.
I did give birth in a hospital because of the need for a c-section.  Nothing unexpected happened.  It was a really great experience.

What challenges do you think are unique to an individual who decide to have a baby on their own?
I think that the first weeks are probably the same for everyone, with the exception that it is all on you. You are the only one who changes diapers, does the feedings, rocks the baby.  I was lucky in that my parents were there for me the entire time.  It is still incredibly lonely and isolating.  I was in an unfortunate situation where I had to go back to work 1 week after having my daughter.  But I do know that women who get maternity leave find it hard to return to work when their leave is up.

What advice would you give to women who decide to have a baby on their own?

I would tell them to make sure they have traveled and done everything that they want to do, do it now. Then save up as much money as possible.  Do not tell anyone what you are doing, tell them after you are pregnant that you are pregnant.  When people ask who the dad is tell them that it is private and none of their business.

Interviews!

So this weeks interviews have been going well.  Tomorrow I have 3 interviews 2 at daycare's for Lead Preschool Teacher position and one for Head Start in Multnomah Village (how perfect would that be!!)

I am excited and nervous.

Today I got a call from the daycare that I interviewed at yesterday and they loved me.  They were calling to get permission to call my references once they had done that they were going to call me back and offer me the position.  The were contacting my last employer.  That is probably why I haven't heard back from them yet. :(

I am on the fence as to whether or not to leave their information on my resume.  They probably aren't giving me a good reference because I am suing them.  Hmmm!!!  I asked my lawyers assistant about it and she is going to ask him.  I am not putting her down on my Head Start application - I really want that job.

Interviews!

Today I had an interview at a Montessori school.  The position is Lead Teacher - the foreseeable challenges are that I do not have Montessori training.  But the owners of the center are willing to train me.  yay!  I go back on Monday for a working interview.  They don't have any room for Maggie in the infant classroom, so I would have to find daycare somewhere else.

Tomorrow, I have an interview for an Instructional Assistant position at a school in Hillsboro.  The position would be working in Kindergarten and First grade classrooms.

Thursday, I have an interview at Maggie's old daycare.  I could probably get her into one of their daycare programs.

Friends!

I love my friends, the people who are really my friends! 

Last Thursday one of my best friends broke up with me.  I get it, she doesn't want to be in the middle of the law suit I have filed against her step mom.  But, she is demonstrating that she does take sides and won't be there for me no matter what. 

The last few weeks have been stressful and looking at my Facebook page and seeing who was supporting me, worrying about me and cheering me on really tells me who my friends are.  I never meant for anyone to worry about me.  I hate moving (when it was just me I hated it) with Maggie it is even worse.  It is worse because I worry about everything with her - her Urinary Tract issues - is she eating enough, sleeping enough, getting enough attention, enough interaction, is her daycare a good place, is she crying.  I thought I didn't have support here - I was wrong.  I do have support.  Thank you!!

She's growing up!

We're back!!

I am so not meant to live in Arizona! 

There were issues that had I been aware of them before moving we never would have moved.

1. We couldn't drink the water. It has high levels of minerals that cause kidney damage and/or kidney stones. Neither of use need that we already have kidney issues. (this is huge because Maggie has had Urinary Tract Infections that have hospitalized her)  Yes we could have had water delivered - but my budget did not have the flexibility for us to do this.

2.  The apartments were horrible but we couldn't afford anything better. We couldn't swim because after we moved in we discovered that they were not maintaining the pool. The hot tub had been boarded up and from what the maintenance guy said it has been that way for over a year and will probably never be fixed.

3. Everytime I turned around I was requesting maintenance because something else would break or stop working.  After I talked to my principal about moving back to Portland she said she would never recommend those apartments.  To bad the district does.

4. When I would talk to other teachers about getting together so the kids could play they would say, yeah in October when it is cooler. Their was nothing to do with the kids that was inside. I cannot live like that.  I like being able to take Maggie to the park or on walks.  The temps never dropped below 87 while we were there.  In the mornings it was usually 90+ and got up to 118.

5.  The temperature is unreal.  It has been like 118 - one thermometer even said 131.  Seriously how do I keep Maggie hydrated in the kind of heat on top of not being able to drink the tap water?  ugh!!

6.  The closest pediatric nepherologist and urologist were in Las Vegas which means that I would have to take an entire day off to take her to the doctor.

Yes, I am a big baby.  I love living in Oregon and feel incredibly greatful to live somewhere that I can drink the water, not die in the heat, not worry about how dirty the pool is, and have access to Maggie's doctors at the drop of a hat.

I am glad we are back, Maggie is glad we are back.  It was an interesting trip but just not a good place for us.