Happy Thanksgiving!!

Today is Maggie's first Thanksgiving.  The beginning of her first holiday season.  Not sure that she will get to experience the madness of Black Friday - though I know I will.  Found a great deal on a swing set at Toys R Us, and a little push/walker car thing, I will be heading there tonight at 10pm.  Tomorrow at 4am I will be in line at JC Penny - does JCP have lines in the morning? 

I think it will be easier to leave her sleeping at home where her Grandpa can take care of her when she wakes up. I fully expect to be home by 7am.  The only store for Friday is JC Penny.  I am kind of glad that TRU is opening tonight.  Oops, I forgot that we will make the mad dash to BRU to pick up wipes.  I love their $5 wipes.  Buy three put them in the car go back in. ;)

I am tired...

of the drama.  I tell my story a hundred times a week and fifty of those times I get the well you should have known better speech from the religious people and the other fifty I get a lot of support.  I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for support and understanding.

ready, ready to run...okay I am just ready for Maggie to feel better

It never occurred to me that Maggie was born with a birth defect until this week.  I guess I always thought of it as just being a temporary problem.  But as I was explaining Maggie's Urinary Tract problems to my bosses I realized that in fact it is a birth defect.  That makes me wonder then what I did wrong when I was pregnant, is it because I drank a few cokes? or took anti-depressants? or was just generally anxious and depressed did those things have an effect on her development?

It was a long week, Tuesday started with us in the ER with Maggie having a hi fever and her fever continued to bother us for the next 2 days.  Today (Friday) she finally seems to have kicked it.  Took her to daycare today, yay!

It is incredibly frustrating because I lost 2 days of work (my mom watched Maggie for one of the three days) along with the loss of the daycare we had already paid for.  That is a loss of approximately $500. 

I have always thought it was wrong for parents to send their kids to school or daycare when they are really sick - like more than just a cold.  Obviously someone sent their kids to school sick because Maggie got sick, I don't think that parents think about the impact of their actions on others or they just don't care.  I guess I care to much I wouldn't want Maggie getting someone else sick.  Yet, Maggie's teacher talks fo kids who are sent to school loaded up on Tylenol when the tylenol waers off their fevers spike and then they get sent home.  After they have contaminated every other kd in the school and the teachers.  Makes me loose faith in people.

I HATE daylight savings time!!!!!

When they came up with this concept I am sure a man did it and I am sure he said lets screw up all the little kids.  We kept Maggie up til 8:15 last night but she was up at 5am this morning.  Ugh!  She went to sleep at 5:15pm tonight.  This is going to be a fun week!!

I am so tired, and feel like crap - I either have the worlds worst allergies or a cold.  I thought it was allergies because of the change of seasons and all the mold and crap in the back yard.  But maybe it isn't, maybe it is a cold.

I am freaking out a little bit I have a few vials of my sperm donor on ice but now I am thinking I don't have enough.  I wish I could see into the future and know exactly when I would get pregnant and just do it then.  Instead of all the tracking and chance taking that may happen.  So I might buy two more vials. 

Good Night!

Started baby prooing...

but the drill died after the second crew.  I was installing the little door lock things to keep the cupboards closed and free of little hands.  I got it half way installed and the drill died.  That was Saturday night.  That is as far as I got.

So I sent her a letter today, the one who helped to ruin my life.  It was more of an e-mail.  Basically asking why.  I hope she responds because it means she isn't such a bad person.  If she doesn't respond then I wonder what the heck was thinking being friends with her.

I am in a totally weird place with all of my friends.  So I know it is me and I can't get out of this little funk.  ugh!  I don't feel depressed right now, I feel good mentally and emotionally but I am acting weird and I don't know why.  Sorry guys!

Okay, I am running away from home.  (just kidding)

overwhelming

So I am technically bored out of my mind.  But I have a ton of stuff to do like - baby proof, baby proof, baby proof, laundry, laundry and more laundry.

We spent the afternoon with Miranda and that was super fun.  We went and got Maggie's pictures taken for Christmas  - super cute.  Just trying to beat the rush.  We went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch it was good.  Loved their onion rings.

I am just trying to avoid the things have to do.  I wish I lived in my own house or even apartment.  I appreciate my parents for letting Maggie and I live here for a while but I miss my freedom.  I miss not having to worry about anyone aside from myself and Maggie.  Right now in order to baby proof I have to completely clean the house.  No easy feat if you have visited my parents house.  I think it would be easier to move.  Except that right now I just can't afford that.  Maybe I should just one of those play yards and focus on keeping that clean and organized?

Ugh!  Okay still avoiding so I am going to bed.

So...

I miss being pregnant.  I miss having Maggie with me all the time.  When I was pregnant someone told me that this (my pregnancy) was the only time I would have her with me all the time, and that is so true.  Someone in our office announced her pregnancy today and I had a feeling it was coming - I don't think she is the only one here who is pregnant.  But I really miss those moments where I could feel her move while I was teaching.  Now we are seperated by miles sometimes.  I can't wait to get to daycare to see her, she is always so excited to see me.

I can't wait for my ESOL program to be done hopefully it will open doors to teaching again and the sooner the better.  I want to have another baby and yes I will wait but I am looking forward to those 9 months again.  I know it will be different but right now Ia= am looking forward to that.

Maggie is growing like a weed!  She is crawling all around the floor and pulling up on furniture when she can get to it without an intereception.  Sam likes to walk over her and his stride right now is just long enough he doesn't touch her with anything but a whisper but at the rate she is growing that won't last long.

We need a vacation.  I am thinking we should go visit someone in Hawaii.  I don't know - now is the time to travel Maggie is free to fly - maybe if we can get cheap airfare we will go somewhere.